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trying to fight jelly and cat chiarelli ain't helpin'!

okay, so it occurred to me almost 3 weeks ago after seeing this victoria secret's ad...

i'm a fatty.

i know a lot of people (okay, a lot of women) look at these models and think these girls are unhealthy little rails and that no real woman should want to look like that, but daggone it years ago that was me! i was the skinny chick! the one that could pick up anything in a store and know for sure it would fit. and look pretty good in it too.

and do you know that i even had the audacity to be on a "get fat" diet at one point in my life? sure did!! i was eating bread and drinking protein shakes like nobody's business trying to gain weight.

but there's no need to "get fat" now. i've got it honestly. and it's nobody's fault but my own. after i gave birth to my son five and a half years ago i did absolutely nothin' to lose weight. unless you count nursing and that actually did help some, but i didn't exercise a lick.

so now i'm finally fed up with my fatty-ness. in fact, i know that if i don't tame jelly (my wanting to eat every piece of junk/fried food in sight alter ego) i will forever have this muffin top. it ain't cute. jelly's got to go 'cause she's not wanted here no mo'!

i've signed up to my fitness pal thanks to my cousin who recommended it to me and i've been counting calories like a mad person. i've  also been going to the gym. okay, so i've only been to the gym a couple times BUT i've been exercising with the wii. and that counts, right? i almost bought a yoga dvd the other day until i remembered on demand on my verizon fios. why pay for a dvd when i have access to fitness tv?!

and that's what brings me to cat chiarelli (of crunch gym/exercisetv fame). you see, i found her sexy stretch workout and figured i'd give it a go. i mean, a sista needs to stretch and why not add a little sexy to it, right?

i did great in the beginning and then started to fall apart just lil' bit closer to the end and when cat did this...

honey, it was a wrap!! you see that?? this child's leg is straight over her head and her daggone foot is hittin' the floor! what in the hairy hay?

thank goodness that part came close to the tail end because i was some kinda frustrated. to cat's credit, it's not like she said put your foot over your head. she said do your best or some mess to make us stiffies feel better about ourselves.

all i gotta say is girl, you know you have to show off like that! now i'm determined to master this workout. i probably will never ever be able to get my leg over my shoulder. (i mean, really, can you? never mind, don't answer that 'cause if you can i'll just be even more jealous.) but i can get close.

or at least sorta close.

as if watching spongebob wasn't enough...

i found this nice collection of spongebob images on my iphone.

never leave a 5-year-old alone with your smart phone.

sick again? well, not quite

kindergarten is making my child sick. literally. he first got sick just a couple months after starting school.

he had a nasty little bug otherwise known as strep. so we got some antibiotics (and tons of popsicles) and knocked that sucka clean out.

only to have it come right back after two months.

my child has never been this sick...ever. i feel like i need to send him to school in one of those all white germ free suits with a mask and four cans of lysol. i mean, really, school = cess pool of icky germs. and the kids just pass it back and forth and forth and back like a game of hot potato.

so anyway yesterday around 3pm i get yet another call while at work from the clinic at dutch's school. yeah, they don't call it the nurse's office anymore. it's now called the "clinic." dutch had a temperature of 101. come get him now, they said. good thing his dad had taken off early for an appointment so he was able to get him right away.

sidenote: my child must've really been out of it because he thought that the nurse said it would take me a while to get there to pick him up because i was coming from africa. yeah, africa. is this what a fever does to a little child's brain?

but back to my lil' story. when the husband got there he was told there was a nasty bug going around (no kidding) and that in order for dutch to return to school he would have to be feverless for 24 hours. "he won't be coming to school tomorrow," said the nurse to the husband.

so now i'm here with a feverless child who is trying his best to keep himself occupied while i work from home. he decided to check out the balance of his piggy bank account and surmised that he has enough money for us to go somewhere. "let's go!! we can go anywhere!!"

anywhere? not quite kid.

and the only pain he now feels is in his foot. from jumping around playing wii.

apparently i'dda been on the bus

this morning dutch was flipping through a book about dr. martin luther king that he had gotten from his school library. he stopped and pointed to a picture of people on a bus and here's the conversation that followed:


dutch: see, the brown people couldn't get on the bus. me and daddy wouldn't have been able to get on the bus but you would. [in the book the whites were illustrated on the bus while the blacks stood outside of the bus.]

mama: well, why do you think that?

dutch: you would because you're white.

pump the brakes. my child thinks i'm white.

i guess that when he compares my skin color to his skin color then yes, i probably do seem a bit white. or peach as he usually calls me. it's all good. i used to refer myself to peach as a kid too. it the crayola crayon color that i matched best.

lightskinnned. red bone. yellow girl. zebra. oreo. high yella. light bright. reds. i've been considered it all, but never white. and i definitely don't think this high yella lightskinned red bone would've been able to pass back in the day.

so yes, we're definitely in need of a skin color conversation, but not today. i just had four wisdom teeth pulled. 

dutch's lil' ditty dedicated to erykah badu

it's been a wii kinda day